To Work or Not to Work?

Let me start off by reassuring you that this is not your typical article about the virtues of working vs. not working.  There have been far too many misguided articles on the “Mommy Wars” already.  And while there are persuasive arguments both for and against working, I firmly believe that it is a personal decision best left to the people involved; you and your family.

That said, certainly the “To work or not to work?” question is an important one and one that is not likely to go away anytime soon.  From the moment we hear those magic words, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant” even the most career-focused Mom pauses to consider her role in the workplace.  And, it is a question that gets asked numerous times during our mothering and wage-earning years -- when our children age, when economic factors change, when spouses are promoted or lose their jobs, when we love or hate our work; all of these life transitions prompt us to reevaluate our desire and need to work. 

Kindred Spirits

In my private counseling practice I work with moms at both ends of the “to work or not to work” spectrum.  I see full-time working moms looking for a better work/family balance in their lives.  Some of them would like to stay home, but they worry about the financial, professional, and personal impact of that decision.  What will happen to their quality of life if they forego one salary?  What will happen to their career potential if they take an extended leave from the workforce?  And finally, will they be bored should they quit working altogether? 

I also see stay-at-home-moms grappling with these same financial, professional, and personal concerns. They worry about the exorbitant cost of child care and whether their decision to return to work will become a zero-sum game. They wonder if an extended absence from the workforce will diminish their employment options and cause them to be labeled as non-competitive.

The Big Picture

When I work with these women, I try to get them to see the big picture, reminding them that we are living at a time when work does not have to be an “all or nothing” proposition.  The options for flexible and home-based work are greater than they have ever been in the past; giving more mothers the opportunity to tailor their work schedules to meet their own personal objectives. 

While there is no one-size-fits-all solution to this very important decision, there are some common factors that every mom should consider before deciding what is best for herself and her family:

• Finding work you love is critical for success:  By definition mothers are already fulfilling numerous roles as Chief Operating Officer of Household Inc.  As any working mom can attest, finding the energy to earn an income, combined with their many “mommy responsibilities” takes a lot of energy and skill.  I can tell you from watching my own clients, that the ones who are most successful at creating a winning work-life balance are the moms who really enjoy their work.  They may not be the most talented, but because they find their work energizing, they have the motivation to continue working, even during tough times.  If you’d like to go back to work or start a home based business, but don’t have a clue what you’d like to do, or if you’re feeling stuck in a career that bores you to tears, take a look at the many resources listed here on www.jobsandmoms.com that help you focus on connecting your skills and interests to real world options:  
   

• Evaluate the economics of working:  Obviously, the vast majority of people work in order to earn money and an increasing number of households now depend on the wife to be the primary breadwinner.  But, you might be surprised to discover after analyzing your budget that you can survive on one-income or could make do with a smaller income generated from a home based business or part-time employment.  To help you make that assessment, take a look at this second income salary calculator.  
   

• Remember that work does not have to be an “all or nothing” proposition:

Finally, do remember that nothing is forever.   Providing you plan for it financially, your decision to either work or stay home can always be changed.  As millions of moms have proven, it is possible to raise both a career and a family simultaneously.  Likewise as demonstrated by such notables as Sandra Day O’Connor and Geraldine Ferraro, it is also possible to take a hiatus from the workplace and go on to have a flourishing career.  The choice is yours.