Over the past ten years, I've had the privilege of helping hundreds of wonderful Moms to find their best work-life balance solutions. One of the many things I've learned in working with my clients is that the questions I ask are often far more valuable than the advice I give. I've had many a client who has said to me, "Nancy, the turning point for me was when you asked...Why or How Come or What if?"
Great questions lead to great results. I'd like to share with you how one question changed my life.
When my oldest daughter Danielle was three years old, I was a stay-at-home-mom. One day, Danielle came home from a playdate with her friend Betsy and said, "Mommy, Betsy's Mom is a baker. What are you?" Caught a bit off-guard by her question, I replied, "I am your Mom." Danielle mulled over my response and then said, "Katie's Mom is an artist. What are you?" At this point, I was really flustered by her line of questioning, so I once again repeated, "I am your Mom."
Danielle stood there for a moment digesting my response. Then she nodded her head as if she understood and stated, "Oh, that means you wash dishes." With a toss of her blonde hair, she grabbed her half-eaten bagel and marched out of the kitchen.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to sit her down and give her a five-minute lecture about what it really means to be a Mom. I wanted her to know in no uncertain terms that being a Mom was a real job, and no, it was not all about doing dishes. I wanted her to understand that I had once been a successful executive with important deliverables and salary raises.
But, I said nothing.
Instead, I sat down and thought about what she had said. And once I calmed down, I realized that she had only stated the obvious. To her, I was someone who washed dishes, made meals and read her stories. She wasn't being judgmental or demeaning -- she was simply commenting on her reality.
It was at that moment that the light bulb went off in my head. With her one little innocent question, Danielle made me think seriously about what I wanted my life to stand for. Yes, I still wanted to be a hands-on Mom (dishes and all) but I also wanted to have a professional identity as well. It took me some time to figure out what that professional role was going to be, but thanks to Danielle the process got started sooner rather then later.
The right questions at the right time -- they can really change your life.
I want to know. Have you ever been asked a question that caused you to sit back, take stock and make a real change in your career direction? Share your story here-- we would all love to hear from you!
