Let
me start off by reassuring you that this is not your typical
article about the virtues of working mothers vs. stay-at-home moms. There have been far too
many misguided articles on the “Mommy Wars” already, and while there are
persuasive arguments both for and against moms working, I firmly believe that it is a
personal decision best left to the people involved -- you and your family.
That
said, the “to work or not to work?” question is an important one that is not likely to go away
anytime soon. From the moment we hear those
magic words, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant” even the most career-focused
mom normally pauses to assess her role in the workplace. It is a question that
we ask numerous times during our mothering years -- as our
children age, when spouses are promoted or lose
their jobs, and when we either love or hate our jobs; changes in life
circumstances prompt
us to reevaluate our desire and need to work.
Kindred
Spirits
In my
telephone consulting practice I work with both full-time working moms and
stay-at-home moms. Some of the working moms would like to stay home, but
they worry about the financial, professional, and personal impact of that
decision. What will happen to their quality of life if they forego one salary?
What will happen to their career potential if they take an extended leave from
the workforce? And if they do decide to stay home, will they find their
new role as full-time caretaker not stimulating enough?
The stay-at-home-moms
grapple with similar financial, professional,
and personal concerns. They worry about the cost of child care and
whether their decision to return to work will cost them more than they can earn.
On the flip side, they
wonder if an extended absence from the workforce will diminish their employment
options and cause them to be relegated to entry-level jobs when they decide to
seek out a job several years down the road.
The Big
Picture
When
I work with these women, I try to get them to see the big picture, reminding
them that we are living at a time when work does not have to be an “all or
nothing” proposition. The options for flexible and home-based work are greater
than they have ever been in the past; giving more mothers the opportunity to
tailor their work schedules to meet their changing personal objectives.
There is no
"one-size-fits-all" solution to this very important decision.
But if you're struggling with this question, here are three important thoughts
to consider when trying to decide which solution works best for you and your
family:
-
Find
work you love -- it is critical for success:
By definition mothers are already fulfilling numerous roles as Chief Operating
Officer of Household Inc. As any working mom can attest, finding the energy
to both earn an income and juggle “mommy responsibilities” takes a
lot of endurance and skill. I can tell you from watching my own clients, that
the ones who are most successful at creating a winning work-life balance are
the moms who really enjoy the day-to-day duties of their work. If you
can find work you love, and a compatible work environment, you'll have a
much easier time weathering the inevitable challenges of balancing work and
family. (If you’d like to go back to work or start a
home based business, but don’t have a clue what you’d like to do, or if you’re
feeling stuck in a career that bores you to tears, take a look at the many
resources listed here on
www.jobsandmoms.com that help you focus on connecting your skills and
interests to real world options.)
-
Evaluate
the economics of working:
Obviously, the vast
majority of people work in order to earn money (and an increasing number of
households now depend on the wife to be the primary breadwinner). But if
if you take the time to crunch the numbers, you
might be surprised to discover after analyzing your budget that you can
survive on one-income or could make do with a smaller income generated from a
home based business or part-time employment. To help you make that
assessment, take a look at this
second income salary calculator.
-
Remember
no decision is permanent:
Finally, do remember that nothing is forever. Providing you plan for it
financially, your decision to either work or stay home can always be changed.
As millions of moms have proven, it is possible to successfully raise both a career and a
family simultaneously. Likewise as demonstrated by such notable women as Sandra Day
O’Connor and Nancy Pelosi, it is also possible to take a hiatus from the
workplace and go on to have a flourishing career. The choice is yours.
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